Hubby Brian, his brother John, and I decided to eat as many burgers as we could during Cleveland Burger Week (July 8 to 14 this year). Various restaurants around the area offer up a burger for a standard, low price, and you go to each restaurant, take a photo of the burger, upload it to the special Burger Week app, and you get “points” that go toward various drawings. But the real thing is – it’s an excuse to eat a lot of burgers.
In past burger weeks, we got sick of burgers fast. They tend to be too big. I don’t know what happened to my country that these days a quarter pounder isn’t considered the biggest a burger can be; some of these restaurants that’s the SMALL size.
This year, to maximize our pleasure, we decided that we would only order one of the special burger at each place, splitting it three ways – one half to John, one quarter each to me and Brian. We would then round out our meal with whatever other offerings were on hand. This worked very well! It was like a tour of fancy sliders, plus fries, pickle trays, what have you.
Monday: Pickles and Pints, Willoughby
The Pickle Burger – the relish was magnificent, but the burger is SO BIG, I mean the meat patty, it’s like a half pound. You’d need a gallon of any topping to notice anything other than the meat. Even eating one quarter, the meat was overwhelming.
The Roma Burger – This was a Mr. Hero Roman Burger competitor. My brother-in-law loved it, but I found it not quite Mr. Hero Worthy. The garlic mayo was nice, but the melted provolone was thin and the lettuce and tomato didn’t merge with it into a glorious new substance like on the real deal.
Side Dishes – We got the pickle plate, of course! They included wasabi pickles, sweet hot pickles, ginger pickles, and some very sweet red and purple pickles, and a pickled cherry. I loved the ginger pickles. Why have I not had ginger pickles before? Want to try making them at home.
Tuesday: Ninja City, Van Aken Market Hall
The Pho Burger – like it says on the tin! The meat itself is steeped in spices you would use to marinate beef for pho bo. We declared this the tastiest meat, as stand-alone burger meat. And the toppings are, well, pretty much what you get on the side with your pho – basil leaves, onions, bean sprouts, jalapeños. Perfectly satisfying, if a bit dry.
Side Dishes – We got pot stickers! Not a new thing for us, we’ve had Ninja City’s pot stickers before, they are delightful. We also got DONUTS from this new donut place in Market Hall – Haute Donuts – those were EPIC. The plain glazed was fine, but the layered passionfruit lemon was a revelation, and so HEAVY.
Wednesday: Agave & Rye, Eton Place
The Sicilian Queen Burger – They turned the top bun upside-down and covered it in tomato sauce, mozzarella, and perfectly crisped pepperoni to make a delightful take on the pizza burger. I particularly loved that top bun, the pepperonis were cut in quarters, just the right size to nibble on, and the grilling on the bun, with the soaked-in marinara, was delightful.
Side Dishes – Brian and John each got one specialty taco – I think Brian’s was lobster and truffle? They were HUGE. Do not listen to the waiter when they insist you need at least two tacos. We didn’t. The dessert taco trio was, however, the big hit of the night. Folded sopapillas with rich banana cream, cinnamon glazed apples, whipped cream, and caramel drizzle. I am drooling just recalling this.
Thursday: Nora’s Public House, Whiloughby
The Nutcracker – the most novelty burger we had. It had peanut butter on it. I took one bite and spit it out. Brian and John declared it “interesting” and finished their portions.
Side Dishes – The smoked gouda mac n’ cheese was nice and gooey, and the coleslaw – I forget it was something like vinegar and blue cheese? It was very interesting, lightly complex without being overpowering in any of its flavors. Fun to mix with other stuff.
Friday: Swenson’s Drive-In, University Heights
The Brunch Burger – it’s nice to have a bacon egg burger available at a fast food joint, but it was overall unimpressive and oddly sweet. Would have liked NO sweetness, and more of a bite to it. It did come with hot sauce packets, but we forgot to put them on.
Side Dishes – As always when we go to Swenson’s, we got the Potato Teasers. We just adore these jalapeño cheese potato bites. Should have ordered two servings! We also got the good old Galley Boy – the signature burger – with lettuce, tomato, onion, and pickle, and split that. John got a milkshake, I forget what the flavor was, but I did take a sip of it and like it.
Saturday: All Saint’s Public House, Battery Park
The Steakhouse Burger – Jesus is back and now he’s a burger.
Seriously, it was inescapably good. Smokey, crispy, juicy, salty, savory, gooey… everything you want in a fancy burger. My new favorite thing ever.
Side Dishes – The fries were perfectly adequate fancy pub fries. Brian got the breaded scallop appetizer and he and John seemed to adore those. I liked them, but no more than scallops without breading. The dips were tasty, and we saved them for the fries. Also, I got a drink called “Peach Better Have My Money” which was smokey and peachy and delicious!
Sunday: Scalper’s – Mayfield Rd.
We had intended to go to Burgers 2 Beer, a place we’d been to before, because it wasn’t far and it opened at 11, and I needed to get going to Ashland, Ohio for my summer MFA residency by noon so Brian could get back in time for Game Night at home. Well, the doors were open, we went in, we sat in the empty place for about fifteen minutes, looking at the menus. I even CALLED the restaurant from my phone, but that just rang the phone on the host stand in front of us. Starving, we consulted Google Maps and the Burger Week App, which sent us to Scalper’s on Mayfield Road, which was thankfully on the way home!
The Sicilian Big Boy – This wasn’t their burger-week offering, but John ordered it, and it was one of my favorites of the week. If Bob’s Big Boy and Mr. Hero’s Roman Burger had a baby, it would be this amazing creation. I have never seen anyplace so expertly re-create the mayo-cheese goo that makes the Roman Burger so addictive. Will return and try again!
The 3-0 – the perfect Ur Dive Bar Burger. It just is. You can taste the greasy griddle. Those nice little crunchy bits on the cheese. We liked how these two burgers were both uniquely themselves, yet so comfortingly familiar to burger lovers. A place to return to!
Side Dishes – Pizza fries! Delicious! Nice crispy pepperonis adhered to fries with cheese, served with a cup of marinara to dip in. This caused me great troubles as I kept messing up my dress with drips!
… and done. While All Saint’s was my favorite, Scalper’s was so much easier to get into, so it’s my top recommendation. All Saint’s was PACKED. 45 minute wait. I get it, though! Some day I hope to return and check out their award-winning patio, but we weren’t going to wait for outdoor seating!
All Saints and Agave & Rye both had awesome decor. Agave & Rye felt like being inside a theatre troop’s jewelry box. All Saints felt like a high production value theme park, like if Disney created an area dedicated to Irish Boxers in Cleveland.
What a great side quest on my last week before going away for graduate school residency for two weeks!
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