When I was doing my project on women’s writing credits in science fiction over time, one of the big benefits was getting to see all these cool covers. I saved seven in particular, and here they are.

7. This Messy Queen

Maximum eye contact from green drama king in a toga on Amazing Stories

I know, he’s wearing a lot of clothes for a beefcake, but I was arrested by that Direct Eye Contact. This green drama king is looking at YOU, dear reader, and the open side of his toga is writing checks his muscular hand will sign!

6. If David Bowie Were a Merman

Astounding Magazine cover shows man in fish tank

Still too much clothing, but the pensive gaze and cheekbones are doing it for me. Would definitely slide my hand up his smooth trouser-sock if he let me.

5. Mountain of Conan

Fantastic magazine with ink wash Conan wearing large hoop earing

I feel less like he’s bathed in shadows than that the artist messed up the hip and decided to spill ink over it and hope nobody noticed, but what I can see, I like! Bonus points for knowing how to accessorize.

4. Just casually caught completely in the buff with a human heart in his hand

Astounding Science Fiction July 1954 shows naked man with back to us

All the points for nudity, and being robot-adjacent. (I like robots.) The organ meats are a negative, though. Would rather he borrowed Conan’s big hoop earring or sword.

3. Disco Space Sword Fight

Conan Returns! says this Fantastic Stories cover from July 1974

We’re in the top three, so the decisions are getting hard. So much to love in this one! The dancerly pose, the half-drawn surely also naked foe, the confidence to go almost completely bare against a dragon! Also look at that flexed cheek! Could have been top spot if only his opponent were in as sharp relief, and if I didn’t have a feeling they both skip leg day.

2. Toiling Hot Men

Amazing Stories June 25 cents

Poses straight off a WPA mural about the glory of labor, and I go in for that. Only loses out top billing because the guy with the whip is not also hot. For shame! And because of the tighty whities.

Which brings us to..

1. Totally Nude Space Immortal

Is he not glorious? With but a scrap of stars to conceal his junk, this guy does NOT skip leg day, and he is offering us a lovely prezzie! Our very own retro rocketship caught in his alluring net!

Fantastic Storeis of the Immagination June - no year given but the cover price is 35 cents.

There you have it. Seven pretty men gleaned from hours and hours of flipping past more boring covers with, like, women on them. Or rockets. Lots of them have rockets. Or men wearing spacesuits and not at all being ogle-worthy. See the hard work I do for you?

This blog post brought to you by Google Drive saying I was running out of space, so I decided to upload these instead of keeping them in a folder.

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