Or, how not to network.
Everyone says you have to network. You need to meet people in the field. So… at every writer’s conference I go to, I’m the dork who runs up to the Famous Presenter Person and says… nothing useful.
“I want to be a writer, too!” Greaaaat… I’m sure they haven’t heard that 8,000 times today, and are overjoyed to be reminded that their competition is an ever-growing mass.
“I loved your book!” Is fine, but it helps if you can actually name their book and something particular you liked about it, and I always get tied in knots trying to guess which is their favorite book and what they might like best about it or what no one else has said to them ever before and let’s get real I am not World’s Top Critic.
“How about those Cavs?” only works in Cleveland.
If I’m lucky, Famous Presenter Person will not remember me. If I’m not, they will recall that I am an annoying kiss-ass.
Conferences and presentations are not the place to meet the presenters. That’s like trying to meet the bride at her wedding.
So… Marie’s guide to networking is: try to meet the people who are in the audience with you. Sure, many of them will be ignoring you because they want to meet the bride, too, but the ones who aren’t are the ones you can legitimately form a bond with.
Okay – number two: we’re all trying to promote our writing, right? So what do you think a writing-promoter doesn’t want to hear? Your writing promotion. It’s like trying to sell used cars to used cars salesmen. Who have a huge over-stock. Treat your fellow-writers as though they weren’t aliens from planet Write. Talk about fandom, about books (not by each other) that you have read. News, weather, hobbies. Normal shit.
EVERYONE’S punt-question at writer gatherings is: So, what are you working on? Your two-sentence elevator pitch is never as interesting nor as conversation-sparking as hoped, and falls like a lead balloon as you can see the person you were hoping to impress feel miserable because 1. It was a good idea and They Didn’t Have It or 2. It was a terrible idea and they don’t know how to tell you.
At best you can get into a side-discussion on your particular sub-genre that will be pretty much the same conversation they could have had with any other person in your sub genre. What I’m saying is:
Have a different punt question ready. “Kylux or Stormpilot?” will be good for a few years yet.
Boom. Marie’s complete guide to networking:
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Seek out your peers and near-peers.
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Talk about normal shit.
I acknowledge I am a socially-awkward freak show, myself. The advice is 99% aimed at myself, and based on a recent experience tripping over my own tongue in an attempt to kiss ass as thoroughly as possible.
Now excuse me, I have some fanfic to read research to do.
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