“Am I a good writer?” I ask my husband, for the eightieth time today.
“Yes,” he says, “Reasie sells lots of stories.”
“But,” I say, “the editor at [magazine that just gave me a rejection] doesn’t think I’m a good writer.”
“Silly sweetie,” Brian says, “Lots of editors love Reasie!”
…
This is a conversation that happens on a weekly basis, and it is wrong. More specifically: I am wrong, because the editors aren’t thinking about me at all – they are accepting or rejecting my stories, not me. An editor could love me as a person and never buy a thing from me. Likewise, for all I know, an editor who bought one of my stories might think I’m a total jerk.
It’s not about me.
This is really aimed at the would-be writers in the audience: It is not about YOU.
Rejection can feel so very, very personal. We have this myth about creative work that it comes from deep in the center of a person’s identity, somehow. Like it’s not a craft, like any other craft. We don’t put this deeply personal weight on how someone lays bricks!
Let’s be real here: I’ve written a LOT of stories, and they are not consistent in quality. Some of them are pretty bad. Some are messy. Some make me CRINGE.
This is the part where you tell me that some of them are divine and magical. Go ahead, I’ll wait.
*cough*
The point is: there isn’t less ME in the bad stories or the good ones. They aren’t me, they are the 
product of my work. Just like I might make an ugly sweater, or one that doesn’t fit so good, and that doesn’t mean I didn’t also make that freakin’ awesome yellow lace knit dress.
(That dress was awesome, right?)
Disassociate yourself from your work. It’s dorky, but I have to mind-edit. “She hates me,” turns into “She hates this story.” (Which also isn’t true, she probably doesn’t hate the story. She might even like the story, but she can’t use it that month. The good news is, once you stop and correct yourself, the other corrections come easier.)
Breathe.
It ain’t me. It ain’t you. It’s the work. And the work can always be improved or re-done or abandoned and new work done in its place.
by 
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