A friend complimented my novelette “We Built This City” and I told her, “It started in a Literary Cleveland class – when was that?” So I went to my journals to find out – and it actually started long before the class! And it’s a long, long journey:
January 1, 2020, I wrote in my journal that I was “reading up on strike histories to prepare to write more labor-oriented fiction.”
Over the next few months, indeed, there are entries detailing labor strikes under Nixon, in prisons, and of course the many steel industry strikes. Some notes about what I’d want to see in a strike story. I was particularly looking at successful strikes in history and the tactics they’d used.
I also noted on that January 1st that I wanted to “focus this year on longer works – see if I can crack the novella and novelette.”
Sunday, February 23, 2020, I have a note “Work on ‘We Built This City'” – so the story had a title already at that time. I remember being inspired, not by the Starship song, though I did love that song when it came out, but by the song “See That Building” in the musical Working — Imagine if a skyscraper had the name of every laborer, every pipe fitter, every iron worker, brick layer, electrician, drywall hanger… every person who lifted a hand to make it happen carved on its side. It would be a tall stack of names. I wanted to revisit the world of my story “A Place to Stand On” with construction workers living in a city they literally built from the ground-up in the clouds of Venus, but now, they were, like, not appreciated?
(I’m not going to post about EVERY journal entry on the story, never fear. There are a ton that simply say “Worked on We Built”.)
March 12, 2020, “Feels like day two of Virus Panic. So many things are cancelling. I need to set some priorities. Window washers on Venus feels like the most meaningful project right now.” So I was already thinking about it as window washers! I do wish I wrote down the origins of these ideas more often.
Thursday, April 2, 2020: I start the “Five Stories in Six Weeks” class, taught by Matt Weinkam through Literary Cleveland. I hoped this class would pull me out of my depression and writer’s block. It did! I eventually sold four of the five stories as an added bonus, but at the time, I just wanted to get out of a writers block that hit with lockdown.
Thursday, April 16, 2020: “Class Time! … New Prompt: A character’s thoughts – interior journey – while working on a task. I think I’ll work on “We Built This City” – or perhaps just adjacent to it. Cleaning windows, thinking about her mother. Journey from anger to gratitude, end with getting fired? Or something?”
I remember this assignment as breaking open the floodgates on writing the story I had been struggling with (for, it seems, three months?) The assignment had a maximum length of 1500 words and I recall being annoyed, trying to fit something like a satisfactory conclusion in under that limit. I wrote it fast, though, and the first scene of the novelette is pretty much intact from this draft.
April 23, 2020: “Class – Metaphor: descent is harder = after city is built, life is harder. Worry about losing job herself – she can talk a big game about striking when it’s not her job – reversal.” Clearly still working on We Built after it was due for class, all of this written before I noted the assignment for the class on this date, which was to write about someone looking back on a change. (That would eventually be a flash piece “What We Have Done” printed in Analog last year.)
May 25, 2020 – notes on “City as Liberator” and “Decolonizing SF” panels from Virtual Worldcon, “I need to pick something to send to [Vera] to crit. Perhaps finish “We Built” for her?
Later: “Wrote like 100 words on “We Built.” Yeah, I think that’s a good pick for Vera. It’ll be rather rough.”
At this point, it was a short story, I don’t recall how long, but under 5,000 words.
Tuesday, June 2nd, 2020: “Worked on “We Built” it’s all right. It’s going to be long.”
July 17, 2020 – included “We Built” in my list of current works in progress. Working on “Megadeath” and a new draft of “Mot”.
Set one of my Goals For This Journal (started on July 17) as “Write a novelette (7.5-15k).”
Monday, August 17, 2020: “Vera wants one more beat to the end of “We Built” – make it Julia’s decision. Also maybe something about the dome suffering from austerity but I’m not sure that helps. Want to show the anti-union sentiments. And also show they are all in this together. Some proof they’ll win? Maybe one more scene in the jail?”
August 31, 2020: “Brainstorm endings to “We Built” – Maybe it’s not the story of how they win. Maybe it’s the story of how the mother is discarded by the city she loves? Then the ending is retribution? Martyrdom?”
“New ending: Mom does the jail packing thing. Mom is martyred. MC takes up the fight.”
(Yeah I didn’t keep that. Ending with the mother’s death was a bad choice I stuck with for too long.)
Monday, September 7, Labor Day!
“Hamsters [workshop] gave great feedback on “We Built” (including ear worms galore.) I think it is going to be a longer story. Maybe even the novelette I was hoping to write. Biggest take-away: Labor organizing has to happen – with the group.” YUP. It would be a novelette, past-me. awww.
Monday, September 21, 2020: “Work on We Built. I’m going to send We Built to Scorched Earth [writing workshop] so that’s a deadline. I think it’d be cool to get this up to 8k or so.”
Thursday, October 1, 2020: “Might do a worker’s rights in SF panel for FutureCon. Reading more on subject. Will maybe help with “We Built.””
Saturday, October 24, 2020: “Scorchettes gave great feedback on “We Built”:
Ending is Julia Stands Up
Add anger toward Mom after Jail
Anger at Rafael, too
More visuals in the city – square and buildings. Undercity.
Add Sunday – Darkday
ShellCorp presence in the city – the school”
Okay, so those notes make more sense to me than they must to you. Most of this was about increasing the emotional arc of the story by letting Julia be angry at her mom and Rafael and planting more world building details like how they deal with having a near-48-hour “day” and the emerging predatory capitalism that is causing problems.
There are a few short notes on various entries throughout November with small ideas for the story or lamentations that I’m not working on it.
Thursday, December 31, 2020 – “I still want to write a novelette, and I still think ‘We Built’ is going to be one.”
For those keeping score – this is now an entire year of working on a single short story that is not yet a novelette.
Thursday, March 25, 2021: “Worried “We Built” isn’t any good. Also, who will I have give it a read? I know Scorchettes read it – did Hamsters? I think maybe they did. Vague memories of Nyla commenting on the title. [Obviously seeing these entries pulled out together – THEY DID.]
Some stories I really lean on crit for. I suppose because they are challenging. The difficult births. I do want this story to work. I want it to inspire. I need to remember why I wrote it. … add a bit about refugees from corporate aerostat factories.”
Monday, April 19, 2021 “Three hours and I have at least read through half of We Built. I honestly think it’s nice? If I can stick this ending? On page 9 of 12. Current length is 6,200 – was hoping to get it up to 7,500 for novelette. Can I do it??”
Saturday, April 24, 2021 – “We Built is at 7,300 words! Sent it to Charlie, Josh and Nyla. I am sure I can get another 200 words from them. Realized I needed to continue the tension between Julia & Hortensia through the final scene. That helped. I’m not sure it’s enough, or that the SF aspect is enough. Should I include more of how the setting changes things? I’ll wait & see what Charlie says.”
Monday, April 26, 2021 – “Louis says “We Built” needs to resolve the labor dispute or “get to deportation day.” I think he’s right. I think it needs to be successful. Privatization falls through, Julia gets her job back. I can do it, I think, in another two thousand words, though Louis thinks novel. 😛
Hopefully, the other readings help. I could incorporate Darrin’s acid idea. What makes this different from an Earth-based strike is they can’t pretend they aren’t killing people. Have to show the corp dome. Rafael can go? Die? Eek. Tries to save his kid.”
Louis is another writer friend I must have sent the draft to. I recall being impatient with Charlie, Josh, and Nyla’s response times. I’m a beast.
Wednesday, April 28, 2021 – “About “We Built” – I have 2 more scene ideas: 1) the bosses offer a deal, to make Julia management 2) Rafael is deported. Then it can end w/ them winning, see? If the cost is high enough.”
Monday, June 21, 2021 – “3 days off, 12 hour work week – fix in We Built
Citizens League (stop causing trouble. die nicely.)
Disappearances – pushed off the dome
Dome leaks – public opinion turns toward union
Bum rush police lockout to fix dome
— thats all We Built
Re-send We Built to Nyla & Charlie after revision”
YES! I made Nyla and Charlie read this thing THREE TIMES. Writing besties know who they are.
November 30, 2021 – “Actually, “We Built” needs a full overhaul, plot-wise. New ending: Mom is proud of her. Lose the battle, win the war. Scene by scene, opening is good, up until the announced cut backs. Scene: establish current mom relationship – establish stakes for unemployment – Julia decides to walk, anyway (after all?) I want Mom-fails-to-use-influence in there. But then she’s influential enough, they offer Julia a deal? B/c people are talking about “Hortensia’s kid”?
Beats:
Problem!
Make Worse (stakes)
Mom (try/fail)
Worse Yet (walk off)
Try/fail? (deal offer?)
Climax – Accident? A leak?
Resolution – (Mom loves you.)
She could save the city, but that’d be scabbing. Stand off? Hire us back or we all die? I don’t like that. Saves the day, then is hero – and uses platform to promote workers? No, I’m not back on the job.”
Here we see the advantage of taking time off from a story to read it with fresh eyes. One year, 11 months since initial idea! But this is actually looking like the final plot outline? Woot.
Wednesday December 1, 2021 – “Kind of exhausted thinking about everything I need to re-tool, but you don’t write good stories by accident or by being lazy. Scenes – first 2, as is
Then, instead of going home to mom, there’s a scene with another worker – Pedro? Freaking out about deportation. Raise sakes. Maybe make the layoff not so drastic? Gaslit over not helping.
Then scene w/ mother trying “fix” things in city hall – Make Mom less sympathetic – now you can get a real job. A better job, like Marta’s son…
Then she walks off the job.
Arrest ends different – Mom bails her out. Offer from company to come back – they know she’s not one of these agitators – she’s a GOOD one.
Agitators? Yeah. Rafael finally walked off, too. Scene stood a protest. 3 or 4 all arrested. Fight w/ Mom
Beer w/ Rafael scene – add stakes?
Report on news about dome leaks – emergency order to bring in workers – striking labor blamed. Oh hell no.
Let’s go get arrested – only it’s breaking in to fix the dome — have to mention them repairing things before
End scene: Mom is so proud of you
Could work. Gotta mull it over. So much to write, so little time!”
Saturday, January 22, 2022 – I finally finished a draft of “We Built” Feels almost more momentous [than the news on that day of BSFA long list for Galactic Hellcats.] Sent it to Charlie & Nyla.”
Monday, March 21, 2022 – “Working on Nyla’s edits to “We Built” Done! And sent to Clarkesworld!”
… and we’re done! That was when the story was submitted for its eventual acceptance, my first sale to Clarkesworld, and my first novelette. Two years and three months of work writing and researching, from January 1, 2020 to March 21, 2022, and ELEVEN peer critiques, including two writing workshops.
It’s not just cities that take a lot of hands to build. Thank you, Nyla, Charlie, Vera, Josh, Louis, all the Hamsters and the Scorchettes! “We Built This City” was published in the June, 2022 Clarkesworld Magazine with a final length of 8,510 words.
